Be, Do, Have: The mindset hack to nail your handstand (and happiness!)

You've been living your life backwards.

So have I, and so has most of the planet. And I don’t mean upside down, that is my jam. I literally mean backwards. Most of the planet functions from these three principles, and in this order: have, do and be.

I want to have this result.
I want to have this handstand.
I want to have this relationship.
I want to have this house, this job, this amount of money.

So I'm going to do all the things that I need to do to get there, and THEN I will be happy. As soon as I reach this goal, I will be fulfilled. I will have…arrived.

False.

That holds your happiness and your pride of yourself outside of yourself like a carrot on a stick that you’re dangling but can never catch. You're constantly chasing it, and that doesn't work (as you know). In this situation, you are likely setting yourself up so that if and when you reach your goal, the satisfaction will be brief, as you immediately set a new goal, bigger, higher, harder.

“If I was able to get here, what else could I do? What is my limit? Do I have a limit?”
In this infinite circle of reaching and pushing, are you finding joy in the process? Or are you distracted by the end goal in a fit of stress or overwhelm, convinced that the goal itself will bring you the happiness you seek?

It is a circle and the only way out is by breaking it: but how?

We get to flip the script. We get to start with BE, followed by do, and then have.

And I love to be practical, so let's take the example of approaching handstand as a beginner.

"I want to learn a freestanding handstand."

You want to nail it, but it’s so much work, so many tiny pieces to unlock. You’ve been trying for a full day and still don’t have it. You see all these people effortlessly kicking up and holding it solidly, like a bamboo in a forest, and you cannot even throw yourself at the wall. You sweat and swear and nothing happens.

So you are disgruntled about it. Frustrated about it. Annoyed about it.

But hey, you're there to reach your handstand goal and finally find your happiness, right?

Then you search for someone to give you the right answer so that you can finally be happy. But, do you know how many drills and coaches for handstands exist? It's overwhelming! Which one do you pick? Which one will get you the handstand of your dreams?

Maybe you’ll get there.

But what if it was the other way around?

What if you were able to embrace a new attitude and be playful, joyful, committed?

What if you can BE someone that finds joy in the struggles and in the small wins along the way? Someone who loves the process of learning and discovering how the body works.

Someone that can DO the practice diligently, without expecting immediate wins, who is willing to put in the work and dedication.

You can then HAVE the handstand of your dreams.

Do you see the difference?

Can you start with happiness and go from there? Can you look back at your journey and see joy and fun?

Where in your life are you focusing on what you want to have and ignoring who you need to be to get there?

I'm not just throwing meaningless words at you. I speak both from the personal experience of my past, and what I've learned from my students. 

After YEARS of being attached to the result of handstanding and being frustrated in my failed attempts, I finally let go of the "I HAVE to nail my handstand now." On the day that I let go of the goal and allowed myself to be excited to be on the journey...that was the day I got my freestanding handstand.

BE happy to start your journey. DO the work with a smile on your face and lightness in your heart. HAVE your dream.

If you want to hear more about the mindset hacks that my students use to balance their handstands AND get step-by-step instructions and tips to get into and hold the pose, grab my free handstand training here.