Mind Your Words: Why Positive Self-Talk Matters

Let’s see if you recognize this pattern: your friends are attempting crow pose for the first time, and they face-plant straight away. You see the frustration in their eyes, so you jump in, reassuring them it’s totally normal, it takes time, but they’ll get there! You offer a couple of tips you picked up from Yogi Flight School, they smile back at you, grateful for the encouragement, and you know you’ve set them up for success.

Then, left alone, you start your handstand training. Ah, handstands: everyone keeps telling you it’s a journey, you need practice, and blah blah blah. But on your third attempt, slamming your feet against the wall and unable to escape the dreaded banana back, your only thought is: “I suck. I’ll never get this. There’s probably something wrong with my body. I’m just a lost cause.”

I’m going to stop right here because you already know what I’m about to say, right?
When it comes to others, you’re the hype person, the encourager, the “You’ve got this!” cheerleader. But when it comes to yourself? You turn into a demeaning and border-line abusive drill sergeant.

Why is it so easy to be kind to others, but so hard to be kind to yourself?

The Language You Use Shapes Your Reality

Words are powerful. The ones you think, the ones you say, the ones you use to narrate your life…they make all the difference. They’re like the materials you use to build a house. A solid foundation of sturdy bricks and reinforced beams gives you the confidence to build higher, add windows to see new possibilities, and doors to step into new opportunities. But if you’re constructing with rotting wood and crumbling mortar, every step feels risky, every wall unstable, and before long, you’re afraid to move at all. Choose words that strengthen, support, and expand your world, and you’ll build a reality where you can grow, thrive, and surprise yourself with what you’re capable of.

There is a difference between “I’ll never get this,” and, “I’m still learning this.” One is a dead end; the other is a work in progress.

Why Negative Self-Talk is Your Default Language

Your mind is constantly working, absorbing everything around you. On average, humans have about 60,000 thoughts per day, but most of them run on autopilot. Much of your self-talk isn’t even a conscious choice; it’s an echo of things you’ve heard, experiences you’ve had, and beliefs you’ve picked up along the way.

Because these words live inside your head, you might assume they don’t matter. But they do. Just like hearing discouraging words from someone else can sting, your own negative self-talk leaves scars.

Practicing awareness of your inner dialogue is like practicing yoga with intention. Stop and notice the words you dedicate to yourself. Shift your inner conversation like you shift your weight in an arm balance: with direction and purpose.

Instead of “It’s hard, I can’t!” try, “This is a challenge, but I’m up for it!”.

Instead of “I’m scared of failing!” choose instead, “I’m excited to try!”?

What You’re Missing

Quick challenge: name five positive words to describe yourself.

If you’re drawing a blank, it might be time for some decluttering and new shopping in your mental vocabulary. Just like negative words shape your reality, the encouraging words you don’t say to yourself also have power.

What words are you missing that could change how you see yourself and your life? If you only dedicate negative words to yourself, flip the script. Find their opposites and start adding them purposefully into your self-talk.

And if you’re unsure which words to choose, ask the people who love you. You might be surprised at how they see you: stronger, braver, and more amazing than you give yourself credit for. Maybe it’s time you started seeing yourself that way too.

So next time you cheer on a friend in crow pose, remember to save some of that encouragement for yourself. Because guess what? You've got this, too.