What to do with rage, guilt and shame

Do you remember when I shared my story on the last interview of the Leadership After Loss series?

I expressed that after my mom died suddenly, it’s like I inhaled sharply, and then never exhaled for years.

Can you relate to that?

The kind of tension that grief creates doesn’t just disappear on its own. It gets stored in your body, in your tissues, in your cells, in your organs.

If we don't release the tension, it turns into anger, rage, shame and guilt. Guilt at thinking about moving forward when someone we love is DEAD. Rage at the world taking this away from us. SHAME at grieving and not being “okay” and feeling like somehow we should be over it by now.

Over time, that tension starts to wreak havoc on our physical and mental health.

Here's my personal story with this....

In 2010, I found myself struggling with horrible adult cystic acne. I had somehow made it though my entire teenage years without any zits, and in my mid-20s, I turned into a “pizza face” and had horrible, painful acne all over.

After a year of different treatments with antibiotics, topical ointments and even Accutane (super harsh treatment), my face still wasn't clear.

One day my dermatologist asked “what’s going on with your life? All the treatments we’ve done should have worked, but you’re still breaking out like crazy. This isn’t a physical issue - it’s a psychological one.”

I was dumbfounded. Speechless.

He was right.

I was living a lie, shoving a square peg into a round hole. I was ignoring my intuition. My soul was asking me for things and I was telling it to shut up.

I had never processed my grief, I had just stuffed it down, and it was coming out the sides.

I had internalized shame, guilt, rage and anger, and it was eating me alive.

Wow.

There was no medical treatment that would fix this.

I had to excavate my shame and guilt and rage and anger and let it out of my body. Of my tissues. Of my cells.

I found myself letting go of years of tension through yoga and breathing. Crying during class, and feeling a million times lighter when I left.

If you are carrying guilt and shame and anger and rage— recognize it. NAME IT. Give it space to exist, and then do what you can to clear it. To move it through.

I recorded a short (9 minute) seated yoga sequence to help you clear out some of that tension RIGHT NOW and leave you feeling a little lighter.

You don’t even have to stand up to do this, so no excuses! “I’m not flexible”  and "I don't do yoga" are not valid excuses - if you can breathe and sit in a chair, you can do this!!

Click here to do it with me.